The beginning part of 1999, I was 44 years old, I had trouble on the job. I had squatted down to see the station on the tv and felt a really awful stinging pain in my left knee. That is when I believe my ailments started. I managed to get up and had the pain the rest of that shift and went thru so much pain until a couple of years later, I did finally go see an orthopedic doc and had surgery.

My first knee surgery was in 2000, when I was about 46 years old but I did not feel a lot better. My knee was never the same.

But back to 1999. When I was still 44, I got this very bad cold and I never got colds. I am a smoker and I could not get rid of this cold. I lost my voice and coughed all the time. That same year, I ended up having surgery on my vocal chords. It was that I had the start of cancer but they called it pre-cancer. They had to cut part of my vocal chord out.

So I had a permanant limp and a very hoarse type voice and life never was the same. I never was at a good weight; always much too heavy and never in my life ate right.

Finally, we will jump up to 2001. All I had left of parents was my step-mother and she passed away that June. I stopped work. It hit me emotionally so hard I went into a serious depression. The rest of that year I got more sinus infections than ever and was just a mess mentally. The doctor would give me medicine antibiotics to keep fighting off the sinus infections. Then in October, I re-injured my left knee but did not go to doctor till January of 2002.

2002 is the year the pn came in. I went to the ortho and got scheduled for another knee surgery. In the meantime I had a TIA which stopped the surgery and then another TIA and then Bell's palsy and another sinus infection treated with augmontin which was so strong doc said I could not fight off other illnesses cause it took away the cells that were fighters of diseases. My health went to pot.

So I am 47. I am a TIA of two and one Bell's palsy. I cannot fight off any diseases. Low b12 and low folic acid and a back problem were found. One morning I woke up and had no feeling from the waist down.

So we had nerve conduction done and I had pn and with all of my other stuff no one said exactly why. One doc said it was caused by tia and another by the low b12 and now they think it may be caused by borderline diabetes.

May 2002, I had another knee surgery which was not successful cause the knee was so bad I can only walk with cane or walker and a lot of pain. It turned out a few days before surgery, I fell on the bathroom floor and shattered my left knee cap. Doc said all they could do is clean it up; not much left of it.

So living with pn among my many other illnesses, I find pn to be the most puzzling and the worst and the most painful disease I could never dream of something this bad to someone I hate, if I even hated anyone.

From the top of my head and face all the way to my toes I have burning and freezing and stabbing and pain so unbearable I cannot cry another tear about this. A week and half ago I got sent to pain management and the doc put me on 400mg Neurontin three times a day and 20mg of Kadian which is morphine twice a day and it does help a lot but at night, like now, the pain so bad. I just write and bear it.

In September, 2002, I will be 48 and I have not worked for more than a year. I don't care that I have to have this disease cause I figure now that my son has low b12 and has to get the shots, and I have a grandson. Maybe if I handle this disease, then maybe in time they can get it under control or who knows maybe find a cure by then.

Well, Love U All and Thanks for Listening.

Anyone can e-mail me. Love to make new friends.

Denisehadley@aol.com

Denise --